love lost

Friday, September 11, 2015
There couldn't be a bitter irony
to be disappointed in love invested

Are you sure you know the person?
you think ten years is enough time

to trust and be trusted
to love and be loved

but things do go wrong...
lovers do turn strange...

love does turn sour
and lover can make you cry

you are a fool to think
love gets stronger in time

you are in delusion to think
you'll be holding hand in prime

its take only a moment
its take only few words

to lose what you had
to lose faith that lasted.

life is a miracle

Monday, April 1, 2013
I think our life is designed
not to waste away...
but to live with seriousness and in attention
it is true when they say,
to be born is a miracle
And to be born with these senses
is a miracle in a million.

there may be war, hunger and poverty,
but there is peace, freedom and richness in abundance
If you look, it is not very difficult to find
solace and answers
in the nature that surrounds us.

In the first bloom of spring,
there is an experience, a lesson to be learned.
Life sure is a miracle
And there is only one, and that is in now.
to see the breeze run through the leaves,
dazzling endless ocean,
under the giant blue canopy.
it sure it a miracle,
to watch the world as it is.

fear

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

fear holds me down
an invisible chain
holding me to the ground.
casting a dark shadow
blinds me to the light ahead.

i have created a monster
from the depths of my mind
i've given it a name.
it shouts and screams
feeding on my insecurities.
becoming stronger
as i give in,
day by day...

i sit back,
step outside of myself.
watching the whole process,
i then wonder what it is,
without its name,
and the image i have created.

growth

There is growth in battle and in experience
That’s what I think,
that’s what I believe.

If you let things go by,
Resisting, restraining and holding it all in,
choosing to learn from what you hear
what you read and what others tell,
Is that learning?
Is there real growth?

A preacher is easy to find
They sure have lot to say
But won’t you put it to test?
And watch things as it is.
Won’t you live the verve…
this so called life.

We live in contradiction
We choose convenience to everything.
Love, do we really understand it?
As things are now
It is constrained,
Boundaries, limitation,
fear and contradiction
Can one overcome these,
and experience what is real,
wholesome, limitless,
free, bold and open
without condition and contradiction.

traveling train

Tuesday, April 24, 2012
It certainly is an experience
traveling a thousand miles journey
in a sleeper class train. 

the wait for the train that never comes
till you get weary to look at your wrist.
your wait is done and the train finally comes.

keep an eye on your belongings
for you shall be sorry if you don't
for pickpockets wouldn't miss an opening.

the crowd that pours in like waves to the sea
the colors and the multitude at the platform
rush in hush, some in scurry, others in haze.

It certainly is an experience
traveling from north to south
in a train full of people.

there is no such thing as hunger
the vendor comes non stop
shouting tea, coffee, snacks and meals

the people you meet, you shall remember
if you listen, you will hear wondrous stories
some of broken heart, others of a venture

if you open your heart, it shall be filled
with the sights moving around you
the sound of train that rolls through the night

it is like traveling in a moving house
there's a party and everyone is invited
on a thousand miles journey.

inconsistency

Monday, April 23, 2012
I hate inconsistency in human being
falling in and out of love so easily and wearily
give yourself some time before you hurry and scurry
but then change, they say is part of human nature.

I hate how people can easily choose to forget
and won't acknowledge the past
for without it there is no present nor the future
but then moving on, seems to be the best way to look ahead.

I hate how people easily squander what is in hand
and won't appreciate your lovers embrace
for once its gone, you sure are done
but then mistakes does makes us grow.  

times goes by

Tuesday, August 24, 2010
While you are awake
Stay awake and don’t drift into dreams
Don’t sway here and there
but let your thoughts flow and go.

The past is nothing but a dream
Written on an uneven slate of sand
To be washed away by the moving tides
Forgotten or layered in piles.

The future is yet to become
A mold out of the clay
but it is never certain
of what the mold will become.

Focus on the wonderful now
and watch time go in slow motion
there's bigger purpose to life than this
let it unfold in the present.

lying reflection

Monday, August 23, 2010
I’m not what I see in front of me
A reflection that has gnarled before me
I count 21 freckles on my face
And my hair, it's a bad dream.

I’ve always been full figured
but I never liked what I saw
i say hello to another wrinkle
i see them more that a friend.

my eyes are blinded and weary
a chemical reaction, a non-stop metamorphism
I see what I am no more
So I shut my eyes and pretend blind.

i remember...

staring straight into the sun
watching the rain drip from the roof.
Playing rubber band between two polls and
having the best time of my life.

Eating gum worth ten and,
not being able to move my jaws,
blood oozing though and through
pretending while my parents screamed.

Being nearly bitten by a dozen dogs.
Being amazed at the handkerchief rat
Being clueless in grammar class
and watching jelly fishes float by.

but these are fragments of dream.
lock and trapped inside my head,
confused and deceived I am
to the reflection I see before me.

The lost hour

Tuesday, August 10, 2010
A year seems long
but it has ended
and now we wait
for another year to add.

Month changes
with name and tags
different in splendor

and thus it surrenders.

Weeks changes swift
swifter than a month or a year
it ends tarnished
with million things undone.

An hour is all we have
forerunner of a stern motive
panicked asphyxia
draws the hour away.

Countless minute flee!
its just not enough,
but you’re never pleased
so you’ll crave another day.

An innocent second
like a blaze of luminosity
came and went undetected
but you’ll never have it again.

these days

Tuesday, July 27, 2010
rush rush rush!
My heart pounds underneath my chest,
blood rush through and through my head.
I am chasing something swift,
Formless, almost invisible!
This needs to be done and
that is still undone.
Its a tale I tell these days.
I know I have to relax,
let the puzzle plunge together.
but time slips out of my hand!
like water held in hand.
i'm moving but time moves faster,
in midst of all the hustle and bustle.
i wonder and i wonder hard.
i think I've set a trip!
to trap myself.
like a moth to the flame.
i think I’m becoming...
blind, deaf and numb.
Chasing in circle.
i know I’m a puzzle piece,
but i wonder if things have to be this!
why does it have to be difficult?
to give it all up.
would it make any difference?
just to dissolve and live my own verve.
my heart still pounds in my chest
Restless! I run a circle again.

too human

Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I would leave it all behind!
Move on without an ounce of feeling,
of having done anything wrong or right.
Words have lost its sense,
spoken far too much without meaning.
the prejudice and the looking glass,
everyone's right to think they're right.
Don’t you agree!
you might if you wear another shoe.
the certainty of uncertainly!
the significance of insignificant!
but i contemplate on this ground I stand,
As i watch the night sky,
open, clear and silent!
a hole in the mist!
i am an eye in the universe,
i should laugh,
it sure should be silly,
the trivial things that ails me,
the cause of jealousy, hate, distrust and anger,
so insignificant and almost microscopic.
but i don’t,
and i won’t,
like a frog living in a pond,
i'm far too human.

down in drown

Monday, May 31, 2010
Did you know how it feels?
to go down in drown
tired and weary insomniac
Infuriating both you and I.

How was I ever found?
Neon machine came tonight
Sparkling darkness ahead
It's the soul underneath your skin.

Can I have a peek?
I want to see a fraction
of things that’ll be done undone
I just don’t know if it's true
they say ‘it’ll be all fine’

Camouflage like the pallid skies
Pale blue, an invited acquaintance
Who advised you to take your leave?
on my knees again
pray, that it’ll stay.

Delayed, moving slower fatality
should it be you
do you think it’ll be ok
But I did look and I find you there
like a cord entwined
how did this ever happen?
I think I do believe
when you say ‘it’ll be fine’

brother

Look what I’ve found
a treasure hidden beneath packed suitcases.
an old photograph of first born fawn
to the world in the summer of 1979.
Looking at me with a nameless glee
he must be only few months old
maybe a year or two!
oh! look how handsome he is,
his adorable eyes, warm face and curly hair
ogleling through the black and white.
a transfusing technicolored person
I do wish I could have known you.
Manipulating promises of otherwise,
You would have been two years older.
I would have had an older brother to love
The days were old and child unimmune
But I never had the chance to meet you,
or embrace this moment that could have been.
I miss you though I never knew you.
I could have turned for your abet
When confused, mad or sad.
You could have given me the wisdom you knew.
or we could have laughed at all the silliness.
Smiling through an old frame, unchanging
a bond that’s forgotten time and space.

hide & seek

Thursday, May 27, 2010
Subtle and moving in slow motion
everything turns grey and white
wondering how long this phase will last
before I make my choice to unwrap.
To the warmth and bare infection
to meet without saying goodbyes.
I’ll guess every mile will inch closer
There’s more to write and uncover
but my indecision is made up
pushing things further away
still my stubbornness reigns
to blind everything in a view.
Not learning but closing each door.
maybe someday I’ll run to discover
further down the path I’ve walked
there’s an incomprehensible prize
to find its reflection revel in a view.

i'm not

Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I’m not my hair,
Curly, brown or red.
Does it matter if I’ve none?
Will it be better if in copiousness?
I’m more if you can see through.
the curly, brown and red.

I’m not the these skins and bones,
a cover that I’m in,
Don’t pretend like you know
The choices I’ve made and the things I believe.
You’re blind if you see,
Only through the color of this skin.

I’m not my past,
nothing more than layers
of souvenirs and reminiscences,
the things that i've done,
the mistakes i've made
and the battles I’ve won
they do not delineate
mold or explain me!
And does it matter?
You’re wrong if you think I’m yesterday.

Maybe I’m a floating head!
If I don’t watch my reflection,
I’ll forget my face
And amusingly forget how I look.
Is there an I?
But a confluence of fragments
A universe of floating orbs,
with no beginning or an end.
To inspire,
To create,
and playing my part.

rain

Thursday, May 20, 2010
Under the giant big canopy
of blue, green and white
there couldn’t be a better harmony.
Thick and layered
imitating everything under.
an elfin white monkey,
an elephant with pink skirt,
breaded man fighting war,
jellyfishes dancing with frills,
scattered over gray rain clouds.
They’ll be stomping boots on my roof
as the blue starts to disappear.
Then I remembered a chore
Jug filled to the rim
but the plant has give up the ghost
it died while I dreamt
I had hope for the seed to sprout.
My naked feet now on yellow & green
While I hope there’s no one under.
The clouds are still fighting battle.
If the dawn breaks morrow
i’ll wish for the clouds to follow.
White, be there to rain!

Oblivion

Caved and trapped
stoked little stranger
busting out of its shell
leaning a panacea
to mend and mold
into something beautiful.
Locked and peevish
the days come again
layered and repeatin’
formin’ an unknown routine
feign a happy ending
forget the comin glitch.
Still pretending
an ignorant fool.
Fame and game
paint your skins and bones
wear a smile, fake a laughter
fall into the circle
and lose yourself
Buy and satisfy
dig deep into your pocket holes
remedy to happiness
who said its for free?

mad girl's sing song

Thursday, May 13, 2010
Scanty stolen moment
lived and layered
replays palinode and its just automatic.
The first blink of eyes reads a name
in madness or the sadness
it hovers around.
Emotion averted
to rehearse a somnambulance.
The next meeting will be years from now.
I wonder walking beyond closed doors,
scream loud,
break these barriers.
‘come and join the masquerade’,
they cry in silk and satin.
An escape that’ll last few minutes.
But I should have embrace the firebirds instead,
certain of their return in spring.
collocate features in my head
I forget, as I age and the days add.
Changing with every new experience,
I’ll write a nocturne and amuse myself.
It’ll rewind and replay primitive.
Just like it started, there’s no wane
The common theory is a foul,
through the ruins in my head
and the confusion maze, it lives on.

moment & melodies

Friday, May 7, 2010
White curtain drench down the window pain
a cover to the world behind.

Locked doors and strange music,
trapped inside the walls of white.

The rhyme and reasons sinking,
finding a place there to hide.

Sheltering in and makin’ me home,
there's no need to climb up to the stares of your room.

Strangely, all within my reach
strangely, all a possibility.

here, but only skins and bones,
Dig deep! I’ve disappeared again.

To another friendly place,
to a different world I know.

i guess i’m a frequent visitor
to the world outside these walls.

It’s the music trapped inside this room
It’s the verse, that’s my new companion

revise and repeat till it sinks deep
sheltering and making me home.

a song for you

Thursday, May 6, 2010
Do you see me now
A waddling fool
Swirling my arms around
This is a song for you.

Pluses running through headphone
Drowning like a drizzle
Sinking like a current
You creep in,
You lulled me to dream.

Waltzing comet!
As seen from outer space
Arms beneath my head
Watching a cosmic boogie
I remember & whistled
a song for you.

untitled

Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Hassled state of balance
the monotony I live makes me hefty
layers of Mondays & Fridays
It arrives sporadic and automatic
this pitiless word will break something
this unwitting ailment is taking over
and this will kill me soon
and send my soul to hell.

Soul, is it my mind?
Body, it’s not mine to own.
She helps or rather sets trap,
I see she is trying fraught,
before it shrivels and droops.

I wonder if death be like sleeping.
Would hell then be a nightmare?
Maybe I’m in a dream,
to wake up to something new
for now I’m trapped like any other.

explosion

Thursday, April 29, 2010
‘what have you been doing?’
Been blowing up the city
under the clear lite sky
making powerful explosion
to generate electricity
and to keep the wintered metropolis,
warm before the white falls.
The snow can’t touch the ground
it’ll melt into summer rain
The forecast is done & wrong
turning blind to the blue
or to sound outside the city.
the city burns again!
that’s what I’ve been doing again.
no winter too cold
no summer too warm
snow melted when it came
that’s what I’ve been doing again.
As white as ghost
I took a trip to outer space
Was a man on the moon
Sparks and explosion filled
The cosmic jacuzzi I was in
That’s what I did again.

bohemian song

Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I can see a huge grin on the clouds
But they are dancing in my eyes
I wouldn’t call myself blind
If you don’t see the world as I do.

Bohemian colored pencils giggle nonstop
Even the bumps on the walls laughs
I’m told they don’t have power to stir
But how did this ever happen?

The restless child has come to visit
I know she won’t stay too long
I’m too stubborn to heed to her notion
But she comes in this blissful hour.

Am moving free to the summer winds
Like the breeze through the leaves and the trees
For a moment I’m free and I sway
To the air that’s more powerful than me.

Watching the world just the way it is
There’s nothing there to change
Through all the imperfection and disease
The bohemian sun makes it the other way.

bottled bubble

Sunday, April 25, 2010
Round and round
make a circle
catch the tail
catch its end.

Take an embrace
it'll be alright
wish me there
so i can make the run.

Stop me a while
fool me blind
make me fall
i'll take this road.

Hear this sound
feel this beat
not of this world
an unheard fiction.

Bottled and canned
rush onto the head
take this escape
make me soar.

It’s just a phase
dyin’ slow
in a clear blue light
we'll celebrate.

stories untold

Met an old woman through the boulevard
she complains the world changes.
she tells me of the glory she embraced,
the music, when it sounded better,
the people, when they had little complain.
ah! She longs for those ‘good old days’
she says, that the music sounds strange
and even the weather, she complains
a mind that’s been left far behind
though her body dragged her here
its all the same
through black, green and the blue.

A man’s war is never ending
no one heeds to one last warning
the mighty hole in the sky inflates
look! my neighbour bought his sixth car.
Calculate and congratulate us,
with sights we see
and the new gadget in hand.
Everyone is desperately selling somethin’
Channel five, advertises a new religion
the painted wind pushes and makes me fall
Awing to the electronic black box
Popcorn in my hands and a remote control
But it’s not me, my own president.
whisking black box!
Tomorrow, I say I’ll live my own verve
The idea living in a spider's den
at the back of my cranium,
to shun being trapped and pleasing.

The past will repeat like a layer
one man! master of million slaves
sells himself for million more agreement
No! he wont stop until all head nods.
Jailing and a new law in-print
No! he just wont’ stop until all is one.
But God or is it our own mother
that created us with such love and compassion
She cried when she though of morrow
So she prayed for the infant
Ah! A mother’s heart is the Blue
So we age, ill and become anew.

Trapped in every new love affair
She thinks life is an unending tease
The race started in an elementary school
The chalk dust and the powdered hand
Even after a quarter of her life spent
the constant calls for trial never ends,
This entire taunt must be a preparation?
She thinks, somethin’ strange will clout
through her smugness and comprehension
Silently its rather the hammer she’ll hit.

Miles from here, friends walk
A boy living a month back
A woman’s love holds such power
Like a drug, he must see her again
Like a puzzle, in confusion maze
Freedom! or a new born cage
Please brace yourself now.

Beneath us,
lives, yet another story,
unseen and presumed insignificant.
It started and ends twice a day
and so I should be careful while I walk
though I can’t ban metals running on these streets,
patiently contemplating,
the giant green street signs!