down in drown

Monday, May 31, 2010
Did you know how it feels?
to go down in drown
tired and weary insomniac
Infuriating both you and I.

How was I ever found?
Neon machine came tonight
Sparkling darkness ahead
It's the soul underneath your skin.

Can I have a peek?
I want to see a fraction
of things that’ll be done undone
I just don’t know if it's true
they say ‘it’ll be all fine’

Camouflage like the pallid skies
Pale blue, an invited acquaintance
Who advised you to take your leave?
on my knees again
pray, that it’ll stay.

Delayed, moving slower fatality
should it be you
do you think it’ll be ok
But I did look and I find you there
like a cord entwined
how did this ever happen?
I think I do believe
when you say ‘it’ll be fine’


Look what I’ve found
a treasure hidden beneath packed suitcases.
an old photograph of first born fawn
to the world in the summer of 1979.
Looking at me with a nameless glee
he must be only few months old
maybe a year or two!
oh! look how handsome he is,
his adorable eyes, warm face and curly hair
ogleling through the black and white.
a transfusing technicolored person
I do wish I could have known you.
Manipulating promises of otherwise,
You would have been two years older.
I would have had an older brother to love
The days were old and child unimmune
But I never had the chance to meet you,
or embrace this moment that could have been.
I miss you though I never knew you.
I could have turned for your abet
When confused, mad or sad.
You could have given me the wisdom you knew.
or we could have laughed at all the silliness.
Smiling through an old frame, unchanging
a bond that’s forgotten time and space.

hide & seek

Thursday, May 27, 2010
Subtle and moving in slow motion
everything turns grey and white
wondering how long this phase will last
before I make my choice to unwrap.
To the warmth and bare infection
to meet without saying goodbyes.
I’ll guess every mile will inch closer
There’s more to write and uncover
but my indecision is made up
pushing things further away
still my stubbornness reigns
to blind everything in a view.
Not learning but closing each door.
maybe someday I’ll run to discover
further down the path I’ve walked
there’s an incomprehensible prize
to find its reflection revel in a view.

i'm not

Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I’m not my hair,
Curly, brown or red.
Does it matter if I’ve none?
Will it be better if in copiousness?
I’m more if you can see through.
the curly, brown and red.

I’m not the these skins and bones,
a cover that I’m in,
Don’t pretend like you know
The choices I’ve made and the things I believe.
You’re blind if you see,
Only through the color of this skin.

I’m not my past,
nothing more than layers
of souvenirs and reminiscences,
the things that i've done,
the mistakes i've made
and the battles I’ve won
they do not delineate
mold or explain me!
And does it matter?
You’re wrong if you think I’m yesterday.

Maybe I’m a floating head!
If I don’t watch my reflection,
I’ll forget my face
And amusingly forget how I look.
Is there an I?
But a confluence of fragments
A universe of floating orbs,
with no beginning or an end.
To inspire,
To create,
and playing my part.


Thursday, May 20, 2010
Under the giant big canopy
of blue, green and white
there couldn’t be a better harmony.
Thick and layered
imitating everything under.
an elfin white monkey,
an elephant with pink skirt,
breaded man fighting war,
jellyfishes dancing with frills,
scattered over gray rain clouds.
They’ll be stomping boots on my roof
as the blue starts to disappear.
Then I remembered a chore
Jug filled to the rim
but the plant has give up the ghost
it died while I dreamt
I had hope for the seed to sprout.
My naked feet now on yellow & green
While I hope there’s no one under.
The clouds are still fighting battle.
If the dawn breaks morrow
i’ll wish for the clouds to follow.
White, be there to rain!


Caved and trapped
stoked little stranger
busting out of its shell
leaning a panacea
to mend and mold
into something beautiful.
Locked and peevish
the days come again
layered and repeatin’
formin’ an unknown routine
feign a happy ending
forget the comin glitch.
Still pretending
an ignorant fool.
Fame and game
paint your skins and bones
wear a smile, fake a laughter
fall into the circle
and lose yourself
Buy and satisfy
dig deep into your pocket holes
remedy to happiness
who said its for free?

mad girl's sing song

Thursday, May 13, 2010
Scanty stolen moment
lived and layered
replays palinode and its just automatic.
The first blink of eyes reads a name
in madness or the sadness
it hovers around.
Emotion averted
to rehearse a somnambulance.
The next meeting will be years from now.
I wonder walking beyond closed doors,
scream loud,
break these barriers.
‘come and join the masquerade’,
they cry in silk and satin.
An escape that’ll last few minutes.
But I should have embrace the firebirds instead,
certain of their return in spring.
collocate features in my head
I forget, as I age and the days add.
Changing with every new experience,
I’ll write a nocturne and amuse myself.
It’ll rewind and replay primitive.
Just like it started, there’s no wane
The common theory is a foul,
through the ruins in my head
and the confusion maze, it lives on.

moment & melodies

Friday, May 7, 2010
White curtain drench down the window pain
a cover to the world behind.

Locked doors and strange music,
trapped inside the walls of white.

The rhyme and reasons sinking,
finding a place there to hide.

Sheltering in and makin’ me home,
there's no need to climb up to the stares of your room.

Strangely, all within my reach
strangely, all a possibility.

here, but only skins and bones,
Dig deep! I’ve disappeared again.

To another friendly place,
to a different world I know.

i guess i’m a frequent visitor
to the world outside these walls.

It’s the music trapped inside this room
It’s the verse, that’s my new companion

revise and repeat till it sinks deep
sheltering and making me home.

a song for you

Thursday, May 6, 2010
Do you see me now
A waddling fool
Swirling my arms around
This is a song for you.

Pluses running through headphone
Drowning like a drizzle
Sinking like a current
You creep in,
You lulled me to dream.

Waltzing comet!
As seen from outer space
Arms beneath my head
Watching a cosmic boogie
I remember & whistled
a song for you.


Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Hassled state of balance
the monotony I live makes me hefty
layers of Mondays & Fridays
It arrives sporadic and automatic
this pitiless word will break something
this unwitting ailment is taking over
and this will kill me soon
and send my soul to hell.

Soul, is it my mind?
Body, it’s not mine to own.
She helps or rather sets trap,
I see she is trying fraught,
before it shrivels and droops.

I wonder if death be like sleeping.
Would hell then be a nightmare?
Maybe I’m in a dream,
to wake up to something new
for now I’m trapped like any other.